


De gustibus non disputandum est

by MiriRainbowitz



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Food, Gen, Nile is a millennial and it shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriRainbowitz/pseuds/MiriRainbowitz
Summary: Five times the team thought Nile's food and food hacks were weird, and the one time she was vindicated.
Comments: 24
Kudos: 202





	De gustibus non disputandum est

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is ignoring the end of the movie because it's just a happy team/family fic okay? Okay.
> 
> Also thanks to KestralWatcher for prompting this

1

Nile is still half asleep when she goes into the kitchen, desperately craving scrambled eggs. The kitchen is still unfamiliar to her, so she decides to microwave the eggs. She's just too hungry to go looking for a pan and all that.

Nicky comes in a few seconds after she's put the eggs in the microwave. "What are you making?"

"Scrambled eggs," Nile replies. "I'm not sure how good they'll turn out, because I've never used this microwave before, but it doesn't really…" she trails off as she looks at Nicky's face. "What's the matter?"

"How - I - _why_ would you make _scrambled eggs_ in a _microwave_?" Nicky asks angrily. "A _microwave_!"

As if on cue, the microwave dings, and Nile takes the bowl out. "It's fast, it's less clean-up, and-" she takes a bite. "It's pretty good. Do you want some?" Nicky just turns and walks out of the kitchen, muttering. Nile picks up some of the words. "...ma che cazzo, non..." She just shrugs and continues eating.

2

They're in a little grocery store when Nile spots the familiar blue and yellow boxes. _Score_ , she thinks, and grabs a few boxes.

She doesn't make the mac and cheese until a few days later. It's afternoon, she's feeling a bit hungry and a lot homesick, and making the Kraft mac and cheese will help with both of those problems.

Once she's made it, she puts some in a bowl and takes it to the living room in their current house and starts absentmindedly eating. She's not sure how long she zones out for, but Andy's yell brings her back to the here and now.

"What the _fuck_ is this?" She comes into the living room, holding the pot of mac and cheese. She's holding it as far away from her body as she can, a look of pronounced disgust on her face.

"It's my mac and cheese," Nile replies. "I kinda just wanted some comfort food, so I made a box. Do you want to try some?"

Andy shudders. "The fact that you consider this - glop - to be food is…" she trails off, then shakes her head and walks silently back into the kitchen.

 _Well_ , Nile thinks, _at least no one else is gonna eat my mac and cheese_.

3

"Nile, would you peel the garlic please?" Joe asks, and Nile says "sure" as she grabs the garlic. Automatically, she puts the garlic in the microwave, presses in the number 10, then starts the microwave.

When the seconds are up, Nile takes the garlic out of the microwave and over to her spot. She feels Joe staring at her, so she turns to look at him. He has a puzzled look on his face.

"Nile, why did you microwave the garlic?" he asks.

"It's easier to peel that way," Nile says. "It's just a little food hack I learned in high school." She shrugs. "The more you know, right?"

Joe doesn't answer, just stares at her for a few more seconds before turning back to his food. Well, at least he didn't go all Boomer™️ about her trick.

4

Nile is sitting and eating her Old-Bay-covered popcorn when Booker walks in and sits down next to her. She's vaguely aware of that fact, but her main focus is on the movie playing in front of her.

A few minutes later, she sees movement in her peripheral vision, and looks away from the screen to see Booker grab some of her popcorn. To her surprise, he spits the popcorn out less than a second after it entered his mouth.

"Nile, what the _fuck_ did you put on this popcorn?" he asks.

"Old Bay," Nile replies. "Lois, she was in my old squad, got me _hooked_. It's really good on popcorn."

Booker just shakes his head. Internally, Nile does the same. Her teammates just don't have taste.

5

Nile is placing the Eggo's into the toaster when Quyhn walks into the kitchen. "You're - making waffles?"

"Yep," Nile replies. "With maple syrup and whipped cream." She smiles. "My Nana would use to make this for us when we visited her."

Quyhn frowns. "Aren't waffles a breakfast food? Why are you making them for dinner?"

Nile snorts. "Time is fake, and food is food, and frankly, the idea that we can only eat certain foods at specific times is ridiculous. And I want to eat waffles drowning in maple syrup and smothered in whipped cream."

Quyhn looks at Nile. "You are a very interesting woman, Nile Freeman," she eventually says. "Enjoy your waffles." She leaves the room and Nile sighs. At least Quyhn didn't kill her this time.

+1

"Nile, what are you making? It smells delicious," Copley says, stepping into the kitchen.

Nile grins. "It's a quick quesadilla. I saw a video of someone making this on twitter a few years ago, and every time I've made it, everyone loves it." As Copley watches, Nile sprinkles a bunch of cheese onto the eggs, then folds the tortilla shell in half.

A few minutes later, Nile brings out the quesadilla, which is cut up into 6 pieces. "Dig in," she says, and everyone grabs a piece.

Andy is the first to speak. "Fuck, this is amazing," she says through a mouthful. Everyone else nods or mumbles their agreement. All too soon, the quesadillas are gone.

"Do you want me to show you the video I got this recipe from?" Nile asks, and receives a "yes" from everyone. "Okay, I'll put it in the group-chat." She looks at Copley, catching his gaze, then winks at him before looking back down at her phone, a small smile on her face.


End file.
